ok so right now i'm both really tired but also can't seem to fall back asleep. and i'm wanting to type right now so i thought i'd write. i've been going through a really hard time right now, it seems everyone in my life, expect my mom, has kinda just kicked me to the curb. i don't really have anyone to talk to about anything, and i don't have a car so i can't drive to the movies. i'm also really scared right now i not doing much, mostly because i haven't felt good. but the thing that scares my is i'm living in a small town and i don't want to be stuck here for the rest of my life. i want to open my production compeny, start a fashion line, publish books, make movies, t.v. shows, have a record compeny, and right now i'm scared that none of that is going to happen. its been my dream for years now and i want it so bad that it aches to think that i might not be able to do it. the one thing thats holding me back is the fact that i don't have any money. thats the only set back. if i had enough money to do all the things that i want to do, then i would be on a trian to los angels right now. i keep telling myself not to give up and i don't plan to just give up this dream, i guess my fears are getting the best of me couse that is what fear gets paid for, to make sure your so scared of something you want that you end up not going after it. sorry fear your not going to win this one.
talk later, punkgirl2152

ok so i'm like super tired right know, but i feel like writing. i hate it whenever i want to write i feel super duper tired. i just wanted to write duper, its a funny word. hehe. anyways now i lost my train of thought. oh great news i finally got books two and three of the twilight saga, i'm so happy. but i'm also really sad because i know that i'll finsh the third book before aug. and thats when the next book is coming out, so i'm trying to take my time in reading them but once i start reading the second one i can't put it down. twilight is now my fave book. and i can't wait for the movie. also can't wait for the new harry potter movie, comes out this dec. they've got some pics from the movie up already on the internet and interviews with the filmmakers and cast. its looking really great, so know i'm reading the last harry potter book, its the best out of all of the books. i think its because it rounds everything off. and it makes you think, i like books, t.v, shows, and movies that make you think. because while your reading it or watching it your like ok i know whats going to happen next, sometimes your right sometimes not, and thats the fun part trying to guess the riddle or puzzle before the charaters do. i'm sure there are other people out there that know what i'm talking about. well i'm getting super DUPER tired know. that word is going to get annoying fast if i use it to much. 
talk later- punkgirl

 so i bought the movie atonement. i hadn't seen it yet but i had a feeling it was going to be good. and it was, but of course i'm still crying. i hadn't finshed the book yet so i didn't know how it ended. it was such a great movie, so captaving, draws you in and dosn't let go until the last frame. and by the end your crying your eyes out, holding your breath, and hoplessly waiting what had happened to change and the ending to be different. it is know one of my fave movies of all time. everything about this movie is beautful. if you haven't seen it rent it or buy it.

a lot of people may not know what bi-polor is, it means that you can get deperssed and sometimes stay deperssed for days maybe weeks or sometimes, like with me, minutes. but sometimes for me it lasts longer. its something that i'll have for the rest of my life. i feel scared all the time. i hate feeling scared all the time. it gets to were i don't know what its like to feel good, to not feel sick all the time. i guess i just needed to talk to someone other then my mom, sometimes i think she gets tired of me telling her i don't feel good all the time, everyday. i guess i just needed to talk to someone about this. if there's anyone with bi-polor or who feels the same as i do, i'm here to talk if you need someone to talk to.

 ok so i don't have cable right now but thats not stoping me from watching one of my fave shows on tv. one tree hill. so i downloaded last nights ep. and i'm so pissed off right now. nathan and haley get back together. and what the hell is up with bevin marrying tim!!!!!!!!!! come on, bevin and skills were so great together, i know skills said that they didn't seem right together but when bevin told rachel she wasn't stuipd that she just acted that way to make the other girls feel better, it made me wounder if maybe skills knew all of this the whole time. that he knew she wasn't dumb and that she was just playing it up and thats why they were so great together. but no my dreams of a bevin and skills wedding are crused by dim. even though i love tim. but i love that he named his son nathan. and good job brooke firing her mom, i mean she was evil. no heart at all what so ever.  well my ranting is over for now. it will take awhile to get over but maybe someday soon i hope i will. now they need to hook skills up with someone.

Hey friends,
So today has been a boring day. Just like most days oh well. Least I have my internet. And today is Thurs. which means Supernatural. Who dosn't love that show.  And Lost is on. Yeah for Thursdays.